Top 10 Things NOT to Do When You Divorce Here
are the top 10 tips on what to avoid when filing for divorce. 1. If you’re a woman, don't get pregnant.
If you’re a man don’t get anybody pregnant. Having a new baby during the pendency
of your divorce is problematic. Not only is not healthy for you or the baby,
but it can be off-putting to the Court should the judge find out. Likewise, if you’re
a man, don’t get anybody pregnant. Although New Mexico is a no-fault state, the
Court won’t be happy to hear that Dad has a new family in the making before he’s
even divorced. Also, if you and your soon-to-be Ex are occasionally still on
for an occasional “booty-call” beware! A pregnancy can only complicate an
already complicated situation. 2. Don't forget to change your will
and insurance. Change your
will! If you don’t update your estate plan, your Ex will have a legal claim to
your estate in some circumstances. Be sure that you also change life insurance
beneficiaries. 3. Now’s not the time to become
promiscuous. New Mexico is a no-fault state, so adultery
is not legal grounds for divorce. However, in terms of determining custody, a parent’s
behavior can be questioned and parents oftentimes find themselves under the
microscope. Courts may frown on a parent’s home being open to new houseguests
especially if the children are present. 4. Now’s not the time to discover
substance abuse Substance
abuse is a leading cause of divorce and if your substance abuse was a cause of
your divorce then perhaps you might want to work on that. Regardless, during
the pendency of your divorce, alcohol and drug abuse are not things that will
help. If you want a healthy relationship with your kids and hope to have
visitation, then keep drugs and alcohol in check. Divorce lawyers love to argue
to the judge that the other parent is dangerous to the children because of a recent
DWI or rumors of hard drug use. 5. Don’t be a Bad Dad or Bad Mom. Be
the best parent you can be. Your kids are going to need you now
more than ever. If you want to be the custodial parent then this is your moment
to shine. You need to get or stay in your child’s life. Examples are getting to
know the school, including the teachers and staff, visit your child’s
extracurricular activities or encourage your kids to get involved in activities
such as taekwondo, dance, scouting or gymnastics. 6. Don’t go it alone. Think about
seeing a therapist. There’s a couple of reasons to consider
seeing a therapist. First, the divorce process can be emotionally grueling on a
person. A good therapist can help you navigate through the mental and emotional
challenges that everybody faces during these times. Secondly, many divorces are
caused at least in part by such things as substance abuse, domestic violence,
mental illness, and financial complications. A therapist might be a good resource
to help you with some of these concerns. And lastly, a therapist can document
your progress and fitness as a parent. 7. Don't Wait Until After the
Holidays You already know the holidays are going
to be difficult. So why wait? Divorce lawyers often see a bump in business
before, during, and after Christmas. It's also easier to get used to an empty
home before the holidays. 8. Don't Forget About Taxes Be sure to visit with a tax
professional to determine the best tax strategies for you. This includes tax
deductions for children, whether you should file “married separately” etc.
These are not questions for your lawyer exclusively as most lawyers are not tax
specialists. 9. Don't "Settle" Early Of course, you want out of your
marriage immediately but that doesn't mean you should forfeit your family’s financial
security. Make copies of all of your important financial documents: pension
statements, tax forms, credit card statements, and other records. It will help
you become aware of what you own and even what you owe. This is all very
necessary when it comes to the legal work that must happen during a divorce.
This will make your divorce easier in that your attorney can already begin
working on the financial disclosures. 10. Don't Increase Your Debt Divorce is expensive. On top of
attorney's fees, you will need money to set up a new household. Although the
law permits temporary division and allocation of assets to ensure that each party
isn’t destitute, this process can take awhile and it can take even longer
before you receive your first check from your soon-to-be- Ex if the Court even
awards an equalization in your favor. Also, you will be responsible for half of
the expenses during the divorce such as real estate professionals, tax professionals,
custody evaluators, etc. I'm sure you may have additional questions. Please contact me and I'd be more than happy to discuss your case. |
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